Reply to Back me up on being the mean, mean mommy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Mom doesn't make kid tidy room regularly.  Offers little to no direction on how room is to be kept.

Imposes out-of-character deadline.

[b]Does not supervise for an hour.[/b]

And we're blaming the *kid* for being a "hoarder"?

This forum...   :roll: [/quote]

Your concerns would be valid if the child was 5. The child was 11. Mom's expectations were age appropriate. [/quote]

[b]I haven't supervised my girls cleaning their rooms since they were probably around 6 years old. Can an 11 year old in your world really not handle an hour of "unsupervised" time productively when given a specific task? That seems like really low expectations and a lack of responsibility to me.[/b][/quote]

My 6 year old can clean her room from hurricane status to near spotless in about 30 minutes, because the room is laid out well, everything has a home, and she's been taught since around 2 that putting her stuff away is her job.  So yes, "clean your own room" is certainly age-appropriate.

That said, the reason my kid can do this at 6 is she's been asked, consistently, to do this, taught how, etc.  It's not a foreign task to her.  It's an everyday thing.  You want to watch tv/play iPad/have treats/go to the ball?  Clean your room first.

Not the case in OP's story.  Also?  "Here, I'll help you.  Oh, you're not doing it right, well cancel all the things, then.  I'm out."  is a pretty ridiculous, overdramatic, entirely ineffective parenting strategy.

But the kid is the problem.  Clearly.  And we're asked to back up the OP's crap parenting.[/quote]

I am the poster you responded to (my post is in bold) and I see where you're coming from with OP possibly expecting too much with too little support if cleaning the room wasn't already an expectation. I posted 17:50 laying out what I would do from here to address this issue if I were OP. My post that you responded to was more of a response to the idea that it is somehow bad to give a child an hour to try to work something out on their own if they haven't explicitly been taught. I don't necessarily think that's the case.

I don't think OP handled the situation perfectly, and I would handle it differently in the future if I were in her shoes, but I also don't think she was completely out of line or that the child was an innocent victim of horrible parenting. I think OP's DD made poor choices and received some possibly disproportionate but not truly harmful consequences. [/quote]

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