Reply to Can a little cheating actually SAVE a marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous]I had an affair with a married man when I was in my early 20s. I never slept with him, but we kissed, stayed up late drinking and talking, went to the movies, and generally hung out a lot. If I was the wife I would have been upset as it crossed the boundary of what I would consider a friendship now that I am married. We were both working out of town and flew home to different cities on the weekends. Most of the time we actually talked about his wife and kids and how much he loved them. He quit his job and took another job without travel so he could recommit to his family. They are still together 10 years later and seem very happy - so perhaps he needed to hit bottom to realize he needed to work in his marriage and not just complain about it.

I feel bad in hindsight that I was complicit in something so obviously wrong, but I'm happy it worked out ok in the end. I certainly hope he isn't still cheating on his wife.

I don't think "sex for the sake of sex" cheating can save a rwlationship, but I think perhaps when you sense yourself yearning for a emotional or physical connection outside your relationship - flirting, staying late at work with certain coworkers, etc. - then you need to use it as a wake up call that something is missing and you need to invest that energy in your relationship and do the work to make your relationship better. [/quote]

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