Reply to WWYD - DH's Ex-Mistress Sent Him "I Miss You" Email

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Reply to "WWYD - DH's Ex-Mistress Sent Him "I Miss You" Email"

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[quote=Anonymous]Defensive sexless PP, I think you are overly focused on the access to email/phone. The thing that is missing from the situation you describe in your family is that there would also be OTHER trust rebuilding efforts going on if your marriage was in crisis as a result of sex-deprivation-induced-cheating or whatever you want to call it.

You deal with the issues that are specific to each party. If you're the cheater, the trust you will need to rebuild would be associated with communicating with your AP. Giving your wife access to your means of communication so that she can reassure herself that you are not communicating with your AP would be one way to rebuild that trust. If your wife has been withholding sex, then you would obviously also want to address that problem head on as well. Her giving you the passwords to HER email would do nothing to address her low desire, lack of attraction to you, physical issue or whatever the problem is.

I don't think that affairs happen in a vacuum most of the time. I think that reconciliations work best when both parties are committed to doing the emotional work required to build or rebuild a relationship. When your relationship is so far gone that one partner is involved with someone else and the other doesn't trust them at all as a result, there is a LOT of rebuilding required. Ground up renovation. You can't do that only by giving access to email.[/quote]

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