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[quote=Anonymous]OP here - I need a little more advice please....We had our 3rd counseling session today.  Yesterday, after I confronted DH with the Jan. phone bill and sent him articles on "emotional affairs"(thanks for DCUM for the advice), he finally came around and sent me a heartfelt apology and said he would cut off all contact.  he was humiliated that i called up his "friend" that morning. At our session today, I went point by point through the phone bill, showing that he called her all the time - at night, on weekends, etc. and showing that he called her before and aftter our 1st session.  He again apologized and said he would stop communication with her "for now."  I said - you mean forever and he finally agreed to that.  He also hemmed and hawed about whether or not it would be okay for him to respond quickly to an email or phone call if she contacted him.  I said - no, do not respond.  He wants to be able to write a brief response so as not to be rude.  Counselor seemed to side with me.  then I said, well, I will be getting the Feb. phone bill later today and I will need to discuss it.  He said he can't discuss this anymore adn I need to agree to drop the topic of "Jane."  I sort of agreed but now that I am home and have reviewed the Feb. phone bill, I am devasted again.  It is even more calls than Jan which I suspected.  But worse to me are the lengths of the calls and the timing.  He called her before and after our 2nd session, which I thought was supposed to be a safe place for us to communicate.  It is as if he is telling her immediately everything I said.  He also called some real estate companies (maybe to sell our house)...Is he still gaslighting me?? He said in counseling again that she was only a platonic friend who was offering support.  However, with so many calls, I just truly have a gut feeling that she was helping support him to leave me.  What else could they possibly talk about for so many minutes?  If you are a supportive friend, that takes a 10 min. call to say how are you doing?  A mistress on the other hand would spend 45 minutes per day discussing the logistics of you leaving. Counselor told me privately that I may need to lay off if I want to save marraige and he has already agreed to cut things off with her but I still feel like he was not completely truthful (at all.)[/quote]

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