Reply to Does anyone else get frustrated with play dates with "only" children?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Also daycare kids can be a little...rough.  [/quote]

It's not necessarily daycare that does this...it's the parenting.

My twins are in a 2 year old room at daycare.  They are in a room with ten other children (12 children for two teachers).  Of these 10 children, 5 were classmates off and on from the 6-24 months (there were three 0-18 month rooms, one 18-24 room and two 2's rooms, so kids often see the same kids as they shift rooms due to birthdays, etc).  Those 5 are all mild kids and our various kids have all played well, all have good manners, all listen to the teachers, etc.  Now, of the remaining 5, 3 of them are VERY aggressive and rough.  We never had a problem until those kids were merged with the others.  And, frankly, I've seen how those parents interact with their children.  The children are aggressive and unmannered because their parents never address issues.  Of the 6 or so families that we spent most of the first two years with, all of those parents addressed issues as they arose and our children all got along well.  I now have to regularly remind my toddlers that even if other kids at school behave in some ways or do some things that they are not acceptable for our family.  And keep reminding them.  I definitely know where some of these aggressive behaviors come from and we work very hard to curb them as they are learning them.  My kids do understand...it's funny, but they'll tell the teachers when behavior we don't allow occurs, so the teachers definitely know the source, but sometimes they are limited in what they can impose on the lax parents.

We have several friends with singles, multiples, and more than one child of different ages and it's pretty consistent that it's the parents with the most lax standards that have the most unruly children.  And very often they fall on the "they're just being boys" or "they're just being children."  Sorry, they are just being children and being aggressive and not learning to share because you aren't imposing enough rules on them.  Yes, I know it's hard.  I have to break all those habits my children learn from the children of lax parents, but we're doing it.  There are one or two that we've just stopped seeing regularly because it's not worth the effort.  Maybe in another couple of years when they're school age we may try to hook up with them again, to see if the kids have outgrown these issues, but we'll just have to see.[/quote]

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