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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - thank you so much for all the advice.  DH actually keeps saying to me - my friendship with Jane has nothing to do with our marriage problems...they are two separate things and I need to make him understand that to me these things do go together. [/quote

You're right, OP. Ask him if he can live without Jane in his life. I was once platonic friends with this guy, but I knew he wanted to be more than friends. He was a good guy but I was dating someone else I was more interested in. Eventually, this friend got married, had a kid, and guess what? He pretty much stopped talking to me, and I totally respect him for that. I'd never contact him again. His marriage and child are more important that keeping our friendship going. Sure, we could've stayed friends but he dropped it and I let it go. I have many other friends. So, I learned he could live without me, and he is. As I said, I have other friends. Your DH seems to have trouble with the idea of living without Jane and Jane has no dignity to keep their "friendship" or whatever the F it is, going. She's a s*t who is getting her ego stroked by encouraging a married man to pursue her and he's a wimp for not dealing with his issues a long time ago. [/quote]

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