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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again. I have asked a few children from divorced families what would they prefer happened had they have a choice and I only found that they wanted their parents to stay together. I know there must be tons who wanted them split. I guess also [b]my Catholic faith keeps me trying[/b]. [/quote]

I'm trying to read between the lines here. What I hear is a marriage to a man who makes you very unhappy, OP. Abuse is like the frog in the pot of water, it heats up gradually, but that "heat" seems normal. You may not see what is happening, but the abuse is breaking down your feelings of security and self-worth. You may look fine, well put together and successful on the outside, but inside you may be barely holding it together. That's why an argument can devastate you. Abusers count on this.

If you DH will not go to couples therapy, you need to go on your own, to help you understand why you stay with this man. Is it your faith? It sounds to me as though you feel it's time to end the marriage, but your upbringing has told you NEVER to do this. Are you worried how your family will react? What your colleagues and neighbors will think?

If you are seriously considering leaving, you need to find an attorney, get your finances in order, and document, document, document everything your DH does and says, even if it means keeping a journal that you keep locked in your desk at work. Get a private PO box and a storage facility if it comes to that. Get a good lawyer and prepare! If your DH is going to fight you, you must stay one step ahead of him at all times and get good advice.

Hope you find the strength to do what needs to be done. If you can work things out with your DH, then fine, but if you are finding it hard to endure his behavior on a daily basis, it may be time to make some choices.

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