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[quote=Anonymous]More moms end up with more time with kids since often men don't contest. In my case, ex saw kids about once a week. His lawyer whipped him up about not wanting to pay support and to go for 50-50. That he could control me with custody evaluators and parent coordinators, who are unrecoverable, and best of all it could be subsidized by federal tax funds so he could destroy me on someone else's dime.

OP if your DH apologizes, I'd see if something like depression or ADHD might be at play, both can make people moody or lacking in a good filter.

The UN even just made a statement about how horribly awry these cases can go. Be realistic about what can happen. These down the rabbit hole cases are estimated to be about 4% but if it happens to you it is stunning how you can have done absolutely nothing wrong but you will lose it all quite possibly. A friend who has only one weekend a month had abuse of one child by his dad reported by the school. She originally was a SAHM, Cub Scout Den mom, you name it. The system often works exactly the opposite of what many are assuming. My friend got a detailed custody order. She carefully documented violations of basically every point by her ex for almost 2 years. Went back to same judge who instead of being concerned about safety and well being of kids cut her down to one weekend. Her husband has the kids in daycare 12 hours a day 6 days a week. Everything that is valued for kids in the normal world is turned on its head in these cases. My friend's lawyer said he was sorry and that there is little oversight or accountability in FC, this was in DC metro area. Just educate yourself so you are not taken by surprise.

If your spouse is controlling and vengeful, and especially if he has a lot of anger, he can destroy your life and your kids lives to a degree you cannot even fathom until your youngest is 18. FC may give him even more power and control, very little likelihood that you or kids will be protected. If spouse has issues with drinking or drug use, and has a professional license that may be impacted, document carefully, that may give you leverage. [/quote]

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