Reply to WWYD? We hate the name of our foster-to-adopt child

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "WWYD? We hate the name of our foster-to-adopt child"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, most of these posters are giving advice from fantasy land. They cannot be for real. They don't sound like they have much real life experience. Do what you think is best for your new daughter. I would change the name.[/quote]

Um, I'm not giving advice from fantasy land, thank you very much, asshole. I am also about to adopt a 5 year old from foster care, and every therapist I've talked to has said that changing her first name is absolutely not an option. We let her pick a middle name - she was able to choose from something very similar to her current middle name, my maiden name or bio-grandma's name. Therapist advised the controlled choice, because children being adopted from foster care have no choice or control over ANYTHING in their lives.

I agree with PPs that you can give the kid your preferred middle name and if SHE feels embarrassed by her name when she gets older name understands prejudice, etc., she can change it herself. I don't understand PPs who are like, but she'll never get a job! Um, by then, she will be an adult who can make her own choices about her name.

Don't take away the child's identity. Get a snappy one liner for when people are rude - it happens to us on a daily basis. It is so horribly rude to comment on a child's name like that's, and I'm sorry people are so shitty. Your daughter needs to know that you are not embarrassed. If she thinks that you think her bio mom is bad (even just for the bad name choice) she will think that she must be bad too, because she came from bio-mom. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics