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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP/Parent -  I thought about writing earlier and now I see 6 pages of people talking past each other.

I easily can see a teacher getting frustrated by unrealistic parents.  I am a coach/scout leader and I see it all the time.  It must be worse for teachers.  I am sympathetic to OP.

In my experience, I would say that most of my kid's teachers are very good and seem to 'know' my kids.  On the other hand, I have experienced 'cynical' and poor  teachers too.  My two kids each had special needs that many teachers mostly dismissed.  It wasn't until testing that the school started to get on board.  For parents that are frustrated, you have to get out of opinion-based discussions and present factual proof through testing.  This is true for both GT and SN.

On a higher level, I think the union, BOE, and MCPS administrators really let down both teachers and parents.  MCPS has GT programs for the top 1-2% and special needs help for another small percentage.  The rest of the kids are treated all the same.  That is unrealistic and puts a lot of pressure on teachers.  It also builds resentment among parents because a lot of smart kids really are bored.  I think teachers know this.  Meanwhile, for other kids, the one size fits approach is frustrating because they are being pushed to fast.  They need more help.  They learn at a slower pace.  They might have working memory or executive function issues.  Once they get behind, they can start to give up.  This requires herculean efforts by tired parents to keep their kids on pace with the class homework and assignments.  We feel like we are doing the school system's job by doing all the teaching at home.  In the end, it is unrealistic to expect an average teacher to cover this variability and it is frustrating for a parent to deal with this.  We need to stop being angry at each other and work together to have more options for different kinds of learners.

On top of all this, the school system gives out fairly worthless report cards and won't voluntarily report MAP-M or MAP-R scores until it is too late at the end of the year.  It feels to parents like the schools are trying to hide data with the hope that we won't complain about kids falling behind or being bored.

I have other issues with MCPS too, but I will leave them alone.  In the end, I think MCPS is not overly concerned with parents needs on many levels.  Many teachers care about the kids an parents, but the system needlessly put's parents and teachers in conflict.  This builds the resentment you see in DCUM.  As I stated at the beginning, though, I also think some parents and teachers probably are idiots and would be bad in any environment.  For this situation OP, I can empathize.  Good luck.  I am one of the parents who wants to be on your side, but it can be hard for me.

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+1.  I also think that the system is set up to favor those who speak up and this creates the problem that the OP is complaining about.  My DS was a couple of grades above in math for two years and would just rush through his work and doodle.  We treated the classwork like reinforcement and would continue to advance him by doing lessons at home.  It wasn't until this year when I heard a parent during one of the school sessions talking about continuing special instruction for her child that I spoke up and asked if my DS could join.  They checked with his prior teacher and records and agreed to try it out and now he is flourishing and doing all sorts of great lessons.

I hate to be the squeeky wheel but had I not spoken up, we would not be in the same place.  I don't think I would push for advancement in areas where my DS needs help or is on level but I also think there are many kids who are on the cusp or advanced who could benefit from more specialized programs.  I just don't see the resources for that so while I have lucked out, I know others who are frustrated.  And if you are going to get special instruction, it is not going to happen by itself - parents must advocate.  I think it depends on the approach of the parent and the mindset of the teacher/administration that determines how that exchange turns out.[/quote]

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