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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A problem in this area is there is such a large concentration of parents who went to Ivies or other very good schools that the kids in this area feel a very palpable pressure to go to those schools.  That puts a heavy burden to excel academically on kids, especially since there are so many other kids in the same class/school feeling the same way.  The pressure could be self imposed or could be from real expectations imposed by parents, but, either way, it is magnified in this area because of the large number of kids competing to be among the chosen few.  I'm not criticizing the drive to get into Ivies, I'm just pointing out that while most of the time the demographics in this area provides our kids with benefits, it can at times create unintended burdens.  [b]Each ivy will only take so many kids from one school, the kids know this, and the pressure begins.[/b]  The kids also want to be as successful professionally as their parents, which is another high bar in this area.  Again, this is not a criticism of having a drive to be successful, I'm just pointing out that sometimes we forget or don't notice some of the pressures our kids face.  [/quote]

[b]As I said, quotas are a serious problem. Fairness isn't really fair.[/quote][/b]

No, the problem is the entitlement mentality implicit in this statement. Your child is not entitled to admission to an Ivy League school or to UVA. Nor, for that matter, are you or your child entitled to fairness. WTH does fairness even mean in this context? Why is your straight A student more entitled to admission than the tens of thousands of other straight A students? [b]Why isn't it just as "fair" for a college to decide it wants students from a variety of different backgrounds?[/b]

There is a certain class of parent--bright, highly educated, overachieving and overpaid--who seems in some essential way to be stuck in 3rd grade emotionally. "That's not fair! My child works so hard, she deserves this!" My god, grow the fuck up! Life isn't fair. And you are doing a grave disservice to your children by encouraging them to just work a little harder so they can enjoy all those special opportunities they so richly deserve. The unspoken message you send to your child is: if I don't get what I want, it must be because I didn't deserve it. What you fail to teach your children is that no one gets what they want all the time, no matter how smart you are or how hard you work. What you fail to teach your children is to expect occasional disappointment and the resiliency to handle it when it comes.[/quote]

Because some of those children are being accepted simply because they are from different backgrounds or are different races, not because they earned it. If they earned it, fantastic, they belong there!  If not, then they are taking up a space. The more spaces taking up that way, the less there are and the more other kids have to fight for them, creating this nasty environment.

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NP here.  The teacher wrote such an insightful, thought-provoking post and the one statement you take away from it is that quotas are the problem.  What a shame.  [/quote]

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