Reply to So frustrated with not being able to know my kids grades.....

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][/quote]

I would wonder if she even has any grades.  Maybe not even attending classes.  may be a lot more going on here than just not allowing mom to see the grades. The secrecy is definitely a red flag warning.[/quote]

This.  This happened to an acquaintance.  His DD wouldn't hand over the grades and made noise about "independence" and "maturity" and "trust."  Turns out his DD was continuously stoned for much of the first year, was in a different boy's bed every night, and wound up with a sheet full of C- and D-range grades, from what I remember.  DD was told not to come back absent taking a year off.  Record destroyed, $55,000 down the tubes.  In HS, DD had been the sweet cute "good kid" who got As andBs.

OP, make the demand.  [/quote]

I don't doubt that this happened to your friend's child, but when these things happen there is more to the story from when the child was in high school that the parents aren't admitting to or maybe not even recognizing - maybe they actually did her work for her so she could get into school or they were so overbearing that she went wild when she got independence, the list goes could on about what really happened in high school that led this girl to go crazy and screw up her life when she left home. IME a normally functioning teenager without normal "issues" does not go that crazy and irresponsible when they leave home. They may make mistakes and have a few crazy moments and maybe not do so well that 1st semester of college, but overall they have a good sense of what needs to be done and will quickly shape up.

This is something we as parents need to remember as we are raising and preparing our kids for the outside world. We need to guide them and have expectations, but overbearing and controlling parents who don't allow a teenage some independence while at home can lead to some pretty tragic consequences later in life.[/quote]

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