Reply to Husband wants to move for job, I don't

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  I'm surprised to hear so many people think a 10% raise is enough to uproot a family and move across the country away from close family.  [/quote]

YOUR family, OP. What about your DH's?  Hey, you married a man from across the country. You had to have known this would come up eventually.[/quote]

Here's what I don't get.....it shouldn't be HIS family and YOUR family.  They are all your family.  That's how marriage works.  DH's parents are your vhildren's family, and you need to accept that too.  Unless you all live in the same area, there's always going to have to be some effort put in to see parts of your family.  I get your feelings, OP. but the fact that you keep stressing YOUR family tells me you haven't matured into the idea of what marriage and family are about long term.  Maybe you two need to find a city in flyover country where you are halfway between the two families so you can stop arguing over who's family is more important. [/quote]

Oh, please. My ILs are family, sure, but I would never, ever, be as happy to live near them as I would be to live near my parents.

A 10% raise to move to a high cost of living area and leave being aunt, uncle, cousin and grandparents and established social network for cold ILs who can afford to travel? No. I would oppose such a move.

The only thing that matters is how much DH and DW want it or how much it would make them miserable. I think either spouse has veto power for this kind of move.[/quote]

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