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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a new high school parent I’m just now becoming aware that there is still a problem with kids drinking alcohol in high school.  I’m not naïve enough to think that raising the drinking age to 21 would eliminate all drinking in high school, but I’m beginning to think that alcohol consumption is far more pervasive than I imagined.   I’ve learned from my DC that even “good kids” that we’ve known for years are drinking as early as 9th grade and not just beer, but hard alcohol.  After picking myself up off the floor, I’m trying to sort this out and understand how kids who are not even old enough to drive are getting alcohol?  BTW DC’s private school is NOT one of the schools with a reputation for drinking or drugs.  What advice do parents have to address this issue?[/quote]

First, accept the fact that there will be experimentation.  It is developmentally appropriate, actually.  Not that all kids do it, but most will try something at some point.  The most important thing to teach is safety.  Your children need to know never to drive under the influence or get in the car with someone who is under the influence.  Girls should not take drinks (all drinks) from guys, even guys they know.  That sort of thing.

9th grade is too young for any kind of experimentation and I would come down hard if my kid was caught at that age.  Older teens are different.  I told my DD that we have an absolute amnesty policy -- if she is in a unsafe situation and calls us for help, she will never be punished even if she has been drinking.  However, if she puts herself in an unsafe situation and doesn't reach out for help, there will be hell to pay.

Senior year we allowed a glass of wine at special occasions.  Sometimes DD took us up on it, many times she declined.  My feeling is that she learned to have a healthy relationship with alcohol.

I consulted several child psychs about this issue because it was concerning to me and I was told consistently that it is actually a good thing for kids to experiment when they are under your roof and you are there for them.  That doesn't mean you encourage it or even say you allow it, it just means that you understand it will happen and don't freak out.  Kids who go to college without ever having learned their limits for alcohol can get into serious trouble with alcohol poisoning.

Read Lessons of a B- by Wendy Mogel.  Best book on this and other subjects concerning teens.[/quote]

The child psychs you consulted must not be familiar with the research on teen drinking and drug abuse. Talking to somebody at NIDA, or doing your own research, would have provided you with better information. [/quote]

Not that PP, but would you care to enlighten us about the research you follow? I, too, have heard that a certain amount of experimentation is normal and it's a blessing in disguise if it happens while they're still at home. This is because you can use the opportunity to talk about responsible alcohol use, set limits and boundaries, and punish if necessary. Better they learn that you are very concerned and will enforce limits, than they hit college without having internalized any boundaries.[/quote]

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