Reply to Is it typical for MILs and DILs to not get along?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When I read that DILs want an understanding and compassionate MIL, it makes me think that one problem may be expecting too much from the relationship. Maybe a relationship that's more formal is better. Or at least understand that if the MIL isn't warm and touchy-feely it isn't emotional neglect but may be respect for boundaries. I don't think I'd want/or expect my MIL to act like my friend or act like she is a mother to me. [/quote]

Thanks for this post. Oh how I wish my mil would stop trying to turn our relationship into a touchy feely mother daughter relationship. I dont have a touchy feely emotional relationship with my own mother and i really feel uncomfortable relating any differently to mil. I just want a formal relationship that respects boundaries. Im not her daughter, I don't want to call her mom. Why is a distant but respectful mil dil relationship such a bad thing?

I'll probably have a DIL who wants a highly emotional, close relationship with me ad will be totally put off by my distancing...karma will get me 
[/quote]

My MIL seems to want this and I don't. I have a mother to whom I am very close, I am super introverted and don't open up easily to people.  My MIL does not have a very good relationship with her own daughter, so I think MIL is trying to fill that void with me.  But I am not interested.  Our personalities are not a good fit, she really is just too pushy.  I am nice to her, allow her plenty of time with her son and my kids but I think our relationship would be much better if she backed off (she wants us to be BFF girlfriends, asks me about my birth control, if my childhood was troubled, it wasn't,etc) [/quote]

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