Reply to I'm thirty and worried about my future.

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[quote=Anonymous]My mother, bless her, told me early on in dating that you can love someone but not be able to live with them/marry.  I'm so happy that she did because I went into dating knowing those are two distinct things.  I didn't sit around saying but I luuuuuv him, even though we fill in the blank (argue all the time, he puts me down, I have to support him, he doesn't want get married, he cheats etc.).   As a previous poster said love is not always enough.

I think you (OP) know you need to break up.  It's funny when I read about people that on paper may not match, they talk about valuing the same things etc despite seeming so different.  The fact your boyfriend doesn't appear to be trying to improve things for himself while you went thru a year of therapy to try to work out your stuff, he doesn't feel he is ready for marriage and kids nor does he seem like he is doing anything so he might be ready in the near future while you really want to have a family some day....  There are probably other things where you value different things but I just have you two huge ones.

So if you stay with this guy, are you hoping he will change and suddenly start valuing the same things as you?  Or are you hoping he is so afraid of losing you that he proposes ...and then every thing that comes after like having kids, finances, dealing with any job situations like job loss, sick parents etc will be major struggles because you fundamentally don't have the same beliefs on how things should be handled?[/quote]

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