Reply to 26 and never had a boyfriend - what the hell is going on?

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[quote=Anonymous]I was 26 and never had a boyfriend. I'd been on a date or two here and there, a couple high school/college hooks ups, but was always the girl who was never dating anyone. By all accounts I'm normal, decently attractive, outgoing, easy-going, confident, successful etc. In retrospect, I think my problem was I had really high standards and wasn't willing to give a lot of guys a chance plus I had, from an early age, fully adopted an "I don't need a man" mentality. Despite being open to a relationship, and at times desperately wanting it, I think I came across as closed off and even a little intimidating.

Good news is that shortly after I turned 26, I met a friend of a friend, whom I shortly after started dating. We got engaged a year later, married at 28, and had kids soon after. If you had asked me at 26, I NEVER would have guessed that I'd be happily married with two children by 31.

In retrospect, I should have been less picky in my early 20s. I think I went into every encounter with a guy with a "is this someone I might want to spend my entire life with" mentality and if the answer wasn't an immediate yes, I closed myself off. Even if ultimately those people weren't worth my time in the long term, I could have learned a lot (how to be a better flirt, for example!) by engaging with them. Plus, having had more relationship experience, even with people I was pretty sure would never be "The One", would have benefited me by offering me perspective with regard to my current relationship. I definitely never had men banging down my door, but I can think of at least a handful of guys I blew off without giving a fair chance. There are certainly countless others I probably turned off with my "I'm fine without a man!" vibe. The good thing about never being in a relationship is that I had tons of freedom to do as I liked in my 20s. I'm definitely glad I lived that up, and did not worry myself too much about my single status (although it was often in the back of my mind). Ultimately, I met my husband through a group I joined for one of my hobbies and because I thought it might be a good way to meet people. He wasn't directly involved, but was good friends with another group member. [/quote]

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