Reply to Punishment doesn't seem to phase this kid

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I am just curious.  What do you do during the day?  If you work outside the home, what is your profession?  I assume you are hugely successful.  From what colleges did you graduate?  GPA?  Honors graduate?  Top of your class, right?  You see where I'm going with this, OP?  You must be flawless.  Well, the world is not filled with perfect beings like you.  Some of, God forbid, may have issues or learning disabilities.  But, guess what?  We may still be successful in life.  You need to do a reality check and focus on what is good about your DD.  She needs you to believe in her.  It is not too late.  In fact, middle school is a critical time for you help her build the confidence she will need later in life.  I am a busy working professional but my 11 year old DD comes first.  And, guess what?  DD is ADHD and struggles with her reading and writing but she is good at so many things and has confidence a mile long.  She is doing well in school with the right combination of accommodations.  I do whatever is necessary to help her feel good about herself.  She has been in Girl Scouts since she was 5.  I can see her getting her Gold Award because she loves scouting and is dedicated to it.  She is a wonderful competitive swimmer and basketball player.  She loves sports and will try just about any sport.  DD is very active and OP, I let her eat chips and other junk along with healthy foods.  It's not the end of the world.  She is a beautiful girl and I am not going to count every chip she eats.  You need to get your priorities straight and ease up on DD.  These years are critical.  If you continue on the path you are on, you will lose her and she will resent her later in life.[/quote]

We have signed her up for countless actives, trying to find something for her to excel at.  It has not come yet.  We will encourage her to meet her goals even if they are not the goals we had for ourselves. I have no fear she will eventually make a contribution to society which is ultimately what we teach our children what is most important. If that is by being an honest and skilled ditch digger than that is something we will have to learn to love! If it is being a honest and caring nurse or school teacher we will be fine. I went to school in the same community where we now live but spent more than 40 years living all around the country. I might be projecting my own difficulties on this child because I was not the sharpest pencil in the box in the same high school system and I felt so "less than". And I took my value from attention of boys. We always want to help our kids avoid the same struggles we had as youngsters. I was a late bloomer going back to school at age 27 to finish my degree and get my MBA. I dropped out of college at barely 19.

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You are setting her up to seek value from boys because of how you treat her.  You and you alone.  [/quote]

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