Reply to Would you turn down a 200k job to be a SAHM?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No, I wouldn't.  
My husband works 50+ hours in a demanding job and I work 30 from home. 
Our kids are 7, 7, 4 and we often feel like we're just keeping all the balls in the air.

I think it's easier to have two parents work very demanding jobs and outsource childcare with 1 or 2 nannies, etc when the kids are really young. 
Yours are almost school aged and will start to notice when they are always with the nanny and not either parent. 
In my experience of now having 2 second graders, you can often tell when school aged kids never see their parents and instead spend most of their waking hours with a nanny.
9 times out of 10, the "difficult" kids in our NW DC school are products of this type of arrangement. 
Bottom line, infants/todders don't care who is holding them/feeding them/keeping them safe.  School aged kids definitely notice who is (or is not) on the sidelines, doing home work with them, etc.  [/quote]

Argh, that bothers me so, so much.  Just because infants or young children are not able to verbalize or articulate their preferences, you think it makes no difference who they are with?  That mom or dad can be swapped out for anyone?  Your post makes it sound as if it only matters what it "looks like" to other people. Does it look like they are always with a nanny? Most research on child development shows that the most important years for bonding, closeness, emotional development are in the early years.  Babies are not just blank, empty bodies who don't care who is holding them.  You could not be more wrong.  Older children are much more capable of bonding and forming relationships with others, and in fact, it's good for them.  
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