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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I have been in a situation similar to yours for almost 15 years now. It IS very stressful, as DH hasn't made any real money in longer than I can recall. He has his own business but makes only a few thousand yearly on average.

I went through many of the feelings you are struggling with -- anger, frustration, sadness, wondering if we should divorce. I tried all the coaxing, pep talks, as well as the less positive communication methods, such as tantrums, silence. Nothing changed the situation.

In my case, I know DH feels really bad and his reasons for not earning are complicated. Self-esteem problems from when he was younger, mostly, that led to a string of poor decisions that effectively have shut doors for him at this stage in life. I coped with finding a therapist and deciding to go back to school so that I could become the primary breadwinner. In those years we barely scaped by financially, but we made it. I now have a good salary and DH over the years gradually has become the SAH parent to our kids. He's pretty good at it too. It's not really what either of us wanted, but he's a good guy in most other respects, so I try to make my piece with it. But some days it's still very hard. Not going to lie -- he has lost some love and respect in my eyes, despite the many awesome qualities he has. It is painful for him too, and I know he wishes he could rewind time and do differently. It isn't going to happen at this point. It is sad, but I stay with my eyes open after much soul searching.

My suggestion is to do your own soul searching and decide what you need to be happy. If there's enough else about your husband that makes it worth staying, then that is one thing. If not, I'd make the decision to leave so you can find what you do need.  Good luck.[/quote]

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