Reply to How do you feel when friend buys McMansion?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Anyhow, our friends don't know about our "McMansion" because we never invite anyone over.  I love the house and we definitely made the right decision, but I feel too self-conscious about what people will think (that they won't want to be friends with us) if we invite them over.  We are super low key and drive really old, crappy cars (because we have no interest in cars), wear cheap clothes from Target because we have no interest in brands or labels, and I don't have any jewelry, so people assume we are not financially successful.  [b]I want to keep that image going, so we do not invite anyone over to the house.  It works for us. [/b][b] I don't like entertaining at home anyway, and it's hard enough to make new friends (we are new to the area) without having them make negative comments (or think negatively) of us because of our house purchase[/b].[/quote]

This is just so bizarre.  You've never invited any friends over to your house?  It sounds like you are working so hard to hide your good fortune that you are not enjoying it.  Why do you think anyone cares THAT MUCH about your house, of all things?  I cannot imagine being this uncomfortable and self-conscious.

[/quote]

omg you talk too much! have a drink and relax.

I wrote the above.  The reason we don't invite anyone over anymore is because of the negative comments we got when we did invite people over.  People shouldn't care about these things but many do.  Some people didn't want to be friends anymore after they came over to our house.  So to prevent that from happening again, we just prefer to meet friends at restaurants, etc.  [/quote]

OP here. I asked this question to see if somebody would feel this way. To some degree, I would feel the same way. I would probably stop inviting SOME people. If all your friends and colleages lived 1 way and you lived completely differently, they no longer feel like equals. You can lose friends with this imbalance. Some people are not sensitive to this, but it can and does happen.

I hope some readers realize that there can be added stress for the rich host. So if guest visits a house rich person, guest should act natural and try not to let your jealousy ruin the preexisting relationship. As the guest, try not to be extra critical of this person. Guest thinks that if host can afford this home, then this dinner party should be perfect. For example, if host serves Milwaukee's Best but guest drinks Heineken at home, guest is disappointed. Guest thinks host is disrespecting them when the truth is that host likes M's Best. As another example, if guest invites host to a bday party, guest now expects a nicer gift because host can afford it. Guest expects more from host in every way. Guest may even expect host to lend money if needed. Or when host shows the house to be polite, guest may think host is bragging. There are complex mind games at play here. So this particular homeowner prefers to meet at a restaurant. I completely understand.

I know that many of you don't see this and disagree, but this is a real problem that does exist (at least for some hosts and some guests). [/quote][/quote]

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