Reply to Husband - parenting fail last night - how upset should I be? (I need perspective)

Forum Index » Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers

Reply to "Husband - parenting fail last night - how upset should I be? (I need perspective)"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wait one minute. You decided to get pregnant, then you had long discussions about what you expected of him. How much buy-in did you get from him?  It sounds as if you set yourself up as the kid expert even before birth.

It's an ass-clown thing to take it out on the kid, but when you treat someone like a child, you often provoke yet more childish behaviour. [/quote]

Op here.  Um, you apparently totally misread my post.  HE wanted to have a baby.  HE pestered me for a year begging me to get pregnant, during which time I had very frank discussions on what he would need to do if we had a baby, and that i expected hiim to step up, etc.  I finally agreed to start trying, and we had our DS.  When DS was born, we had been together for 9 years.  I've never claimed to be a kid expert.  I only expected him to be able to feed DS, brush his teeth, and get him to bed at his bedtime so he wouldn't have a hart timme getting up for daycare in the morning.  If it hadn't been a "school night", I wouldn't have cared about him still being up since I wouldn't have to get him up early in the morning.  My MIL and FIL have even had discussions with me about what would happen if sommething happened to me.  They fear that their own son would not be capable of taking care of DS, and they have told me they would seek custody of him.  H's father is barely talking to him right now because of a "parenting fail" incident when he was visiting them in NYC (which I won't bother going into here).

When I talked to him about the other night, he apologized casually, like it was no big deal.  I didn't yell, I was very calm about it, but I told him my concerns.  His reaction was that I don't appreciate what he goes through to hunt and put meat on his family's table (bs, he hunts because he loves it, not because we need meat.  We have too MUCH meat we can't fit it into our 2 freezers). He said I was just trying to cause conflict in our marriage and was being a nagging bitch.  He said i have a mental problem where I'm trying to make myself into a martyr.  I told him okay, would he go to counseling with me, so maybe I could get a diiagnosis for my mental problems.  He got madd and is now no longer speaking to me, and he left to go hunting for the weekend.  I'm pretty much to the point that I'm giving up on this marriage if he won't agree to go to counseling with me.  (Excuse the typos, I'm typing real quick on my phone, because Im on my way out to take DS to a "touch a truck" think)[/quote]

Wow, that was quite a response - project, attack, leave. Says a lot about your DH. If he's not willing to go into counseling, you should still consider going by yourself, OP. Maybe learn new ways of dealing with him until you decide what to do about your marriage. Sorry, it doesn't sound like your marriage is in a very good place right now.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics