Reply to Is it possible to learn to enjoy sex with someone after years of bad sex?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One of the women with bad sex here. This is for the people that said what a horrible selfish thing is to marry someone you are not sexually compatable with. Yes, it is selfish, but in most cases things are not so clear cut and it was not an easy decision.

My situation is that my father was abusive, I have low self-confidence and dated for years men that mistreated me. Then I met my husband, he was wonderful in every way but I was just not that physically attracted to him. He had some past issues too, and he really wanted to settle down. I did not mind having a stable relationship so we married. 
That's all. [/quote]

Were you honest about your lack of attraction to him?  It sounds like you were in a tough spot, but I think a lot of men (incorrectly) assume that a woman would not marry a man she was not sexually attracted to.  [/quote]

Yes, I think you are right. Because generally men would never marry a woman they are not attracted to physically, they assume that women think the same. And my husband had zero relationship experience.

I can never flat out tell him that, that would be very cruel and he is a wonderful man in every way. But I have told him before many times that I have doubts ( including the day before our wedding) and I think he feels it too and he has asked before if I am attracted to him. It is just all so damn cruel and we are both nice caring people and we love our kids.
[/quote]

Op here- wow, PP when I read your posts I wondered if I had written them myself and forgot! Our situations are almost exactly alike, except my father was absent not abusive. And we are going through extreme financial stress right now, so lots of instability. Sometimes I wonder if we hadn't had the financial problems, perhaps we could have gone on comfortably and this wouldn't have become such a problem in the marriage...[/quote]

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