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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In similar boat.  So sad and trapped.  16 years together, three great kids but 2 are SN.  DH is ADD but regularly forgets meds and docs.  Bottom line, I feel like the only grown up in the house.

I feel sad, hopeless, and would totally leave if it weren't for the kids and if we could afford it.  I do everything relating the the kids and the household, and DH treats the home and family like a rooming house.  For years I've been instigating date nights, therapy appts, etc.  He's always willing, but is never proactive.  Today is our anniversary.  We have no plans and no money.  Everyone seems to like things just the way they are.  IE - me running the entire show and making sure we're all on track.  I'm so burnt out and sad and no one gives a shit as long as their meals are cooked and the laundry is done.  DH can't hold a job, I've moved heaven and earth to keep us afloat and be his cheerleader to our friends.  He's not social, and is just as happy playing on his phone as doing anything social.

I feel like my only way out is if I get sick and die.  Divorce would devastate our 14, 11 and 8 year old.  They love their father because he shows up and it's good times all around.  But I'm done.  I'm desperately unhappy. But trapped. If I die, then they would be sad, but wouldn't have the specter of their mother leaving their beloved father.  Can't afford therapy right now - paying for the kids therapists and meds is tapping out all discretionary income.  It's just a shitty situation and I truly don't see a way out except pulling myself up and doing things that make me "happy".  Which is not quite what I envisioned for myself.  I could've stayed single for that.

And no, I didn't know DH was ADD before we were married.

FML.  And happy fucking anniversary to us.[/quote]

If you have a daughter, would you want this for her? Why not care about yourself just as much?[/quote]

I have two daughters.  And I would never want this for them.  I'm beyond caring about myself, I've tried self care for years, but I'm doing all the heavy lifting for four other people, there aren't enough resources for me to leave or care about myself or whatever that means.  I'm too tired to pep myself up.
 [/quote]

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