Reply to Yom Kippur Birthday Party

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Reply to "Yom Kippur Birthday Party"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I repeat:  Someone else's birthday is not about you.

It doesn't matter if it is a major religious holiday for some subset of the population.  The hosts get to decide when they want to host a party.  You get to decide whether you will attend or not.  The hosts schedule their event for the most convenient time for their family and you either pleasantly accept or respectfully decline.  If you feel that they were just clueless about the holiday you can say in your RSVP "Sorry, but due to the Yom Kippur holiday, we will not be able to join you," but that's about the extent of how far you can respectfully decline.  If 25% of the guest list cannot attend due to the hoidays, then the next year, they can decide whether to avoid the holiday or not.

It's not rude to plan an event for another culture's major holiday, unless it is a mandatory or major event (a wedding when a significant portion of the guest list would have a real issue).  A child's birthday party is just not important enough to cause such a conflict.  You decide how observant a Jew you are and you accept or decline.

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You are right that the person planning the party can do what they want.  They are, however, undeniably, being extremely insensitive, and they are hurting other people's feelings, whether they mean to or not.  That's just the way it is.  People feel the way they do even though the birthday is about someone else.  If the person planning the party doesn't care, they are insensitive.[/quote]

So, you're saying that if that weekend is the only weekend that both sets of grandparents who live out of town can fly in, that they should cancel the party or have a birthday party excluding one set of in-laws just so that some school classmates will not feel excluded.   It is only insensitive if they opted for that weekend over another potential weekend without a reason.  But guests do not know what scheduling issues that the hosting family has, so just be gracious and don't assume the worst.  The hosts do not have to explain to every guest that the non-holiday weekends were not convenient for the hosting family.  You're being ridiculous labeling them insensitive unless you know for certain that they had no reason to select that weekend over another and just opted to do it on the holiday weekend.[/quote]

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