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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is the OP again. I think this has been an interesting back and forth, and I am thankful for the responses.  I do wish, though, that people would carefully read my post, specifically, "If I bring it up, I'm telling him something he already knows," and in my return post, that I've never said anything in 25 years, and that I'm not going to now.  I'm aware that my saying something to him would be embarrassing, hurtful, depressing, pointless... That's why I never have, and am not going to.  Very scary and hard to watch, though--- that's the dilemma.  Thank you.  [/quote]

His health and choices are not about you.  ALL you would be accomplishing by talking to him about his weight is dumping your anxiety and fear on him.  That is selfish.  [/quote]

Spend time with him and don't bring it up if he doesn't.  If he does say something (complains about not feeling well, etc.) take the opportunity to express your concern in a non-nagging way and offer any suggestions that you may have..... or better, yet, just LISTEN to him and let him sort this all out for himself.  [/quote]

OP again, for the 4th and final time-- I agree that it would be selfish.  That's why I am not going to bring it up, as I have said in my three prior posts.  Also, I returned to say that while I've decided against saying something to him about his weight, I am going to write in his birthday card that I think he is awesome, because he is, and tell him that I've learned so much from him, because I have.  We live too far apart to hang out that often, but we do stay in contact.  Thanks again.  [/quote]

This is really wonderful, OP.  I'm one of the first PP's who told you about my brother commenting on my weight when I shared a photo of me all dressed up, and how that comment really hurt me for years.  What I meant to write at the end (and honestly fell asleep because I have a new baby and often fall asleep holding my phone now!) is that the best thing you can do for your brother is love him with actions.  If you think he might not value himself enough, show him how much you value him, not just with words, but with what you do - try to call him, spend time with him, send things to him, show him you are thinking of him.  Demonstrate his value to you in actions.

You sound like a great and loving sister.[/quote]

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