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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Town house is doable for us though I'd prefer a row house or small bungalow.

Re our budget.  We can afford more than 600,000 except my dh is in the tech field and we are nervous about his long term viability (lots of agism in the industry - it is possible his earning potential will decrease radically in the future) plus my income (about 65 before taxes and benefits) is now going to childcare and preschool and will in the future be slated for education (private school and college savings).

Private school is mostly about the kind of education we want for our kids.  We both went to not great (not terrible) public schools and did just fine, but I'd like my kids to have something different. My friends are in publics (mostly Arlington) and happy enough, but their kids are doing a lot of homework in early grades and confined to desks, and one boy, according to his mother, has come to hate writing and reading because he was pushed in it too hard too young (it is better this year because they are doing a lot of collaborative learning stuff, and he is super social and so liking school more); I have two very active boys and I just don't see it as a good fit for them right now.  So we are doing Montessori-type education for a while. Plus, I want a place where they love to learn and am not so interested in academic achievement or test scores; teaching college, I see VERY little of any love of learning in my students who basically just care about grades. I do think our education system causes at least some of this.  But it is likely we will cycle in and out of public and private as our fiances and inclinations change - I'd just like a house that gave us the option of private, which means 600,000 or less.

And I'd also like my kids not to be in neighborhood schools where kids have way more material possessions and vacations than they will ever have; my friends in Arlington public schools already face quite a bit of this - second graders with iphones etc. I am personally fine with being lower SES than others in my neighborhood - I love my career and life and don't feel, except for a house, like there is anything I want I can't have. I am not terribly social and don't crave fitting in. But I grew up in a small new-money town (oil money in the deep south) and dread my kids wanting things "everyone else" has that they won't.  It sucked in jr. high!

Silver springs and Takoma are definitely neighborhoods we are considering - was just hoping for recommendations a bit closer to Bethesdsa/va since that commute can be a bear.  The neighborhoods behind ballston also seems doable, though I'm hesitant to move to VA (somehow it feels more suburban than silver springs). I am not sure, commute-wise, if a neighborhood like rock creek forest (is that its name - right above Rock creek Park over the line from DC), for which I've seen some houses in our price range, is more commutable than Takoma (from Takoma, you can cut through the park from Aspen drive whereas I'd being stuck doing the east-west HYW from Rock Creek Forest) and I'm not sure if the neighborhood is, with just a couple of housing exceptions, above our pay grade.

AU park would be great but, I  haven't seen a single house come on the market we can afford (have been casting around for last month or two).

Thanks everyone for helping me think this through!

[/quote]

OP, I live in East Bethesda, which sounds like one of the earlier neighborhoods a poster described. It is depressing to have your house considered a "tear-down." However, in Bethesda there are still some little nooks where this is not happening at such a rapid pace. Check out the area over near Montgomery Mall. Also pockets of North Bethesda between Old Georgetown and Wisconsin, and the area up near White Flint, which is going to be amazing in 20 years when all the development is finished. Also, Kensington is really lovely and I know some people who are sending their kids to Einstein and seeing great changes. I'd check out pockets of Wheaton as well.

That said, I'd like to ask if you are so certain about wanting to be "in the middle." I grew up in the "poor neighborhood" in an area much like Bethesda. My mother was divorced and bought a teeny tiny (800 square foot) house. I went to school with kids whose parents were well educated professionals, and it definitely motivated me to excel. Now my kids, ironically, appear to be in a somewhat similar  situation. And I don't think it's a bad thing at all.  [/quote]

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