Reply to Do you think you might get divorced once the kids are grown?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've thought about it.  Not because I don't love my husband but because I can't live with him. He creates a huge clutter mess where-ever he goes. He doesn't throw things away, doesn't put things away, etc.  If I took photos of his workshop and office, you'd see exactly what I mean. I showed photos of his office to a mental health professional once who said "this is more than just a clutter problem".

I agree. He doesn't open his mail either and used to yell at me for doing it, saying it was a Federal offense, but after a few checks for thousands of dollars expired because he let them sit without opening them for over a year, he shut up about this.

I can't keep up without exhausting myself. He also doesn't really believe in maintaining a house, so I've lived with holes in doors, cracks in ceilings, etc. I can physically only do so much. I am in my early 50s and won't be able to keep up the pace I do in old age, so I am thinking about leaving just so I can live in place that doesn't make my head hurt looking at it. I don't want to be one of those old people they find crushed under clutter.

The only saving grace is that he doesn't tolerate food mess so what lies around are just objects, not disgusting things. Still, it's hard to live with.[/quote]

I think I work with your husband and am tired of cleaning up his mess there as well.[/quote]

plus 100.  I wonder if some of my kids are going to become hoarders.  He is delusional about the clutter, thinking that if we only fix the major things (the first floor toilet, the roof) we will be able to have people over to dinner.  I have not contradicted him, just because he hates it when I do, and fixing the roof was  major issue and he had to renegotiate with the insurance company because we took so long (we also, in addition to having our chimney shattered, recently got cited by the DC government for problems with our decaying fence, the paint peeling on the trim of the house etc) to make the repairs.  The lightning strike also broke the ac, which he has yet to fix, so this is the third summer where until he gets around to it, the only ac is in my room.  The house was so hot one day last week my son came in and put himself right in front of the cool air, saying he was having sex with the ac.  He also treats me like shit in front of the kids, and my 9 year old has repeated phrases like shut the fuck up and stop being a bitch.  I am disabled, and for many reasons cannot leave him.[/quote]

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