Reply to Do you think you might get divorced once the kids are grown?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]if my marriage can survive until the kids are out of the door, both of us will be close to 60, too old to get a divorce. We have grown apart in the part decade and will probably continue to drift further apart in the next decade. Hopefully we can still be good roommates by then.[/quote]We are married in name only and separate rooms for several years.  Examples of 'normal' famil life has been observed by DC and comments like 'I wish our family was like that' breaks my heart.  I am the one who attends concerts, parent/teacher meetings, etc.  I pay the tuition, he pays the mortgage.  There is no family vacation but DC and I go everywhere.  In four years when I have DC comfortably in college, I am so gone.  I will have very little money and no doubt will not be able to retire but in my field, I can work until I drop which will most likely be the case.  My biggest regret is losing the excellent healthcare coverage under his plan.

DC is happy and healthy with lots of good friends.  Unfortunately, we have no local family so I will 'retire' and work in one of two places where I have family and friends.  Yes, I stay right now because of finances and for DC who is comfortable in our home.  There is no arguing but no existence as a family where we plan and do things together.  I wish I had had the cajones to pick up and leave when DC was a toddler.  However, I do come and go as I please and stopped asking husband if he wanted to vacation with us years ago since he never goes anywhere or does anything.  Though, he always goes to work and comes straight home to the TV.  I wish he would find someone and just leave.

I have told DC that the way we live in separate rooms is not the norm and talked about what to seek in relationships.  I am counting down the next 4 years and making preparations for my departure which includes a few extra bucks in savings andadditional education in my field.  It's all about DC right now, by choice, but my day will come.

Thanks for letting me vent![/quote]

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