Reply to What type of women have emotional/physical affairs with married men?

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[quote=Anonymous]You seriously need individual counseling and if you were in marriage couseling you need a new couselor. 10 years and your H never hugged you - your counselor did not instruct him to hug you in counseling. What happened to you in your childhood that you would allow yourself to be treated this way for 10 years. That in an of itself shows that you have [b]serious [/b]self esteem issues.

The affair will not fix your issue. It may mask them for a while.

You are causing harm to others. You are hurting a woman you don't even know.

You have serious issues picking men. You are dating a man that wants to "wrap his car around a tree".

Your issues are [b]deep [/b]and will take years to undo.

[quote=Anonymous]While there is no real justification for an affair, I'll just say this...

I'm in an affair at the moment.  We're both married.  I plan on leaving as soon as I'm financially able to.  My husband knows this.  He also knows that we haven't had sex in the last 10 years (been together for 20 years), he's simply no longer interested.

Trust me, a decade without a hug, without any human touch from someone you care about can drive people to do things they would normally never consider.

Could I have left years ago?  Maybe.  But the truth of the matter is my husband and I spent the last 10 years trying to fix our marriage.  We've both worked so hard to save something that just isn't there any more.

In the end, I sat him down and told him how much I crave a physical touch, that I felt it was getting to a point where we should BOTH go and find what we need.  He agreed.

I don't tell him that I've found, and fallen for someone that now provides that for me.  I don't want to hurt him any more than necessary, even if we've agreed it's okay.  If I even suspected he'd found someone too, then I wouldn't hesitate to tell him.

As for my AP....his children are younger than mine.  He wants to save his marriage, and is doing everything he can to do just that.  Yes, he's cheating....he feels incredibly guilty for it too.

His wife isn't evil.  She's simply changed into something he struggles to live with.  I fully believe that for him, the alternative would be to wrap his car around a tree.  He doesn't WANT a divorce.  He doesn't WANT to be having an affair.

The ache for the human touch is a strong one though.

I don't see a future with him.  BUT for now we're both getting the love, acceptance and fulfillment that we don't get at home.

That's enough for us at the moment.[/quote][/quote]

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