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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous[b]]I wish white people would put down their defenses and listen more.[/b]  And after listening and trying to understand the other perspective, try to convey that they've learned something.

Most comments are too subtle for some people to understand why they're problematic, like the comment above about the play group.  People tend not to realize when they're making assumptions, about race or anything else.  That's why they're assumptions. We need to be open to having our assumptions challenged.  If you really want to live in a post-racist world, put down your defenses and engage in a real dialogue.

It's painful when someone accuses you of racism or racial cluelessness.  It's like you're being told you're ugly in some fundamental way.  I know, because I'm white and I've been there.  It's often embarrassing, even shameful, and goes against the core of what you believe about yourself.  But if you're white and you find yourself in that situation, turn into it and become more informed.  Then you'll be more like the person you think you are.

Stepping down from the soapbox now. . .

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These are the posts that anger me and I dont understand.  I could say the same thing to you.  I wish AA people would put down their defenses and listen more.  Why are you generalizing an entire race.  Its absurd![/quote]

I am not this PP but I am the PP that said that color does matter. Here is the thing, you could not say the same to minorities. And that is what you need to understand. Everything is not tit for tat.

If a black person (or other minority) is telling you what it is like to be black, what their experiences are, etc then it is not your place to tell them to stop being so sensitive, get the chip off of their shoulder, etc. You don't know what it is like. You will never walk that path so just be quiet and listen. No one is asking you to do anything except have some respect. You don't need to chime in about how we are all the same and they are just exaggerating. You have no idea, and for that you should be thankful.

So it does not work in reverse. No one is telling you about what it is like to be white and then discrediting any comments or thoughts that are based on your personal experiences. You have nothing to defend, no one is trying to stereotype or oppress you.

You don't have to worry about being seen as the representative for your entire race. If a white person acts foolish, it is seen as a white person acting foolish. There are many other images to balance that out. However, it doesn't really work that way in reverse. Appreciate that privilege and stop trying to discredit the experiences of those who know what they go through.

So maybe that is why a mommy would want a playgroup with other moms who understand that. It must get tiring trying to constantly explain and defend your worldview and experiences. It is nice to be around those who already get it- no words are necessary. 
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You do not need to tell me what to understand.  From your post and that pps post I understand that apparently ALL white people do not listen.  Am I right?  Because between you and the few other posters who vehemently disagree with me….when did anyone state that it *some* white people who don’t listen.  From what I have read it’s the entire white culture?

When did I ever post that I pretended to know what it is like to be AA?  I do not and would not ever say that in my life.  And if someone is explaining to me their feelings I would never interrupt or claim to know what they are or should be feeling.  That is ME.  Now another white, latino, or yes even an  AA person might say they know or to tell the person to get the chip off their shoulder but I would not.  Therefore you cannot generalize an entire race to say that “white” people don’t listen or want to know.  That is what I think is absurd.

And is does work in reverse.  What if I am explaining something about a stereotype for being a white catholic (I am not) and I say that all Asians need to stop their judgement and listen.  It’s the same thing.  Different history yes- but like another pp said we all have our history.  That does not make one person better than the other.

Its not tit for tat.  Its about how each person wants to be treated.  With respect.  
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