Reply to I just don't like my husband anymore

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I was about to start a thread called, "I have a shitty husband". I see that my old thread has come up again and not much has changed. I have not been on this thread for several months. Sadly, I'm right back to how I was feeling 4 months ago. Our summer was filled with vacations and social gatherings. The outings were a good time but DH was lousy company. When other people are around, DH is great (not to me but to others). As soon as we are alone together, our smiles disappear and the eye rolling begins.

Yes, DH is successful so he is a good provider. Yes, DH is a wonderful father.

I am so miserable being married to DH. I will come home in an awesome mood, be having fun with our children and DH starts to talk and my whole day gets ruined. The man is a complete mood killer. I often talk myself into thinking I have a good life. I TRY to like DH. I TRY to convince myself that I love him. It never lasts more than a few minutes.

In attempts to improve my marriage, I have tried having sex with DH more but it totally sucks. It is beyond a chore. DH probably makes advances a few times a week. We will be arguing, not getting along, and then he will try to have sex with me. Then I think I should just give him blowjobs to keep him happy because that would be better than sex but I just don't want to do that either.

I feel like everything in my life is going well except my marriage. I used to think that I took out my exhaustation and other frustrations out on DH. I am no longer sleep deprived. My career is taking off. I do admit that I felt bad in the past about being mommy tracked while DH's career was soaring. I have finally achieved work life balance and happiness. I just wished I had a life partner that I liked. I don't even need love or sex. I just want to enjoy the company of m
 
y spouse. I want to stop being so annoyed at him all the time.[/quote]

OP, have you taken any of the suggestions people have offered you on his thread?  Lots of good ideas here.  I'm going to offer my own.  You sound selfish and spoiled.  I don't mean this genuinely - MANY people from are generation (including myself, though I'm grateful to my mentors who have helped me realize it) as our generation has really grown up believing a huge lie that our personal happiness is the most important thing in life, and that sacrifice for the sake of another is something you might do only if it is convenient.

Anyway, I have two suggestions.  STOP scheduling "social events" and instead:

1.  schedule family prayer time for about 30 minutes a night.  Almost every religion has some sort of representative object or artwork, so it s easy to set up a home shrine, so to speak, as a focal point.  Then sit together and pray.  Make sure that both of you have an opportunity to offer intentions during his prayer time.  In our home, we pray the rosary (even though DH is not catholic and neither of us grew up praying it).  Repetative, meditative prayer is great for couples just starting this.  Many faith traditions have sOmething similar, just google until you fine something that you feel comfortable reciting together.  Praying together is profoundly Bonding for a husband and wife, and can be very powerful even if you aren't particularly religious.

2.  Find a service project that you and DH can do together.  Make it something that you need to work on once a week or at least 2-3x per month.  Remember, you are replacing all those "social" outings wih something that actually brings he two of you together in service of someone else.  Use a babysitter if your children are not able to participate or be present for this work.

Your relationship will change dramatically if you take these two steps.  Yes, it might take a few months, but you wil start to notice a very deep difference in both your own attitude and expectations, and in your perceptions about who your husband is.[/quote]

:shock: FAMILY PRAYER and a SERVICE PROJECT will save her marriage!?!?!!?

Oy vey. You don't know ONE THING about her and her religion - or lack of one.

[/quote]

Yes, as a matter of fact it could help to save her marriage. Both prayer and serving others have been known to make extraordinary changes in people's lives.  Of course I have no idea what spiritual inclinations OP may or may not have, but nonetheless it is very sound advice.  As with any of the suggestions made on this thread, she is welcome to try it or not.  Quite frankly, no one else has offered any ideas as radical (or simple, for that matter) so certainly it could be worth a try.[/quote]

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