Reply to Would/did anybody pick TJ over a private school?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People do not choose a "big 3" school because they think it will get their kid into an ivy.  People choose these schools mostly because they went to a private school when they were young.  America, whether we like it or not, is a mosaic.  We are not in any way a homogenous culture.  A part of that mosaic is a group of families that make up a sub culture that send their kids to private school.   It is part of their cultural identity.  Many of them are quite wealthy, and don't need to worry about getting into the best school.  If you have enough inherited money, it really doesn't matter what school you go to.  The parents want them to get a basic education and, more importantly, to be part of their culture, to do the same things they did as kids, and have a similar set of memories.  TJ and the "big 3" are not in any way competing for the same kids.[/quote]

You realize rich people and trust fund babies are just as proud if their kids gets into Harvard, etc.  Many of them have a tradition for attending these kinds of schools and you won't fit in as well socially if you did not go even if you went to prep school.  There's always the stereotype of the "dumb preppie" who never makes it to the Ivy League and everyone knows who they are.  Going to an Ivy or similar gives you immediate acceptance in certain social and professionals circles that only going to a private secondary school does not.  To say that people choose a "big 3" school and not expect "Ivy" or similar is simply not true.[/quote]

Look, I will identify myself as old money with a family name that would impress you. You are out of touch, if you were ever in touch. Times have changed. It's no longer the case that the old boys can automatically send their kids to alma mater, excerpt for that legacy bump, and even with legacy status you still need something else to make you stand out. There's more of a meritocracy these days, and a big 3 is no longer a guaranteed fast track to an ivy, this is a fact that most realistic patents understand. Plus you make it sound like success is when your DD marries a Saltonstall, but in fact an ivy degree carries the most weight on Wall Street and certain law firms these days, and much less weight in other professions. I know a thing or two about finance, and I'd say the majority of my aquaintances from top, ivy business schools are from working class, not upper class, backgrounds. So while a Big 3 degree will certainly buy social cachet here in Washington, and among people outside Washington who are familiar with the names, it's no longer a guaranteed entree, compared to another good private or even a top public, to the Ivy League and social standing.

Send your kid to private school if the education is better than your public option.
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I'm the 2nd pp you quoted and I agree with you 100%.  Parents who put so much emphasis on the "Big 3" are fooling themselves if they think going to private school means anything nowadays.  It's where you go to college that counts especially if your progeny goes into fields like finance or law.  We're from NYC and it's true everyone knows where everyone else attended college and grad schools even if you're old enough to be beyond caring, and it'll follow you to your grave and obituary.

I hope DC goes to TJ while DH wants to send DS to the same elite prep school (not big 3) that he and most forbears and relatives attended.  It'll be nice to have to choose but like another pp said, TJ like Stuy and Bronx Science chooses not the other way around.  My DH likes to point out to me that while those science magnets in NYC may have a slew of intel semi finalists, the highest combined SATs in NYC is usually Collegiate's, an all boy's private school on the UWS.  However, I don't think any DC private beats TJ's combined scores on the SATs even with similar demographics as Collegiate's, which considering the SES of the students (and tuition at Collegiate) should be the highest. For me, TJ and similar public magnets beat private schools by a mile; admittance is all by merit and free!  About as perfect as education can get...
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