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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here

Thank you all for the support. Just to clarify some questions, I am on both birth certificates and I am the primary parent. I handle all the pediatrician appointments and everything at school.

We’ve been together for 12 years and share a lot of mutual friends. I reached out to someone we both get along with well, and they mentioned she’d changed a bit. I didn't tell them about the cheating, it's not my place to share that, but thanks for the suggestions to speak to other people to confirm that her shift hasn't just been in my head.[/quote]

Guilt makes a lot of people act coldly. It's a distancing and compartmentalization pattern.  It wasn't in your head.

You likely won't know what you want emotionally for a long time.

The hardest-nosed question to ask yourself is will she stay and be permanently faithful if you forgive and commit to rebuild.  Never mind what you want, now or in the future.  That is at the heart of the matter.  Her family is Option A and she's had more time to evaluate that option than you will ever have in this process because she reopened the matter first.[/quote]

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