Reply to MIL asked DH to live with her after FIL’s death

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again.  I guess the reason I’m letting this bother me is because she’s now talking about moving to be closer to us.  Net-net, I think this is a good thing.  But she’s been callously hurtful to my oldest kid in the past, and I’ve never forgiven her for this.  And now there’s a good chance that we’re going to live near each other and see each other a lot.  Her request to DH that he stay with her for a couple months while telling us not to visit reminds me that she doesn’t particularly care for my kids (until they become useful to her, as DH is).[/quote]

OK, OP. All that can be true, and she can still be trying to make decisions, get answers, and get “her way” during *the most painful time of her life, when she is now old, alone and scared.*

I get that this is a lot for you, too. But it’s not like DH is packing 15 huge suitcases and telling you he’ll be gone for two months, right? She can want it, she can ask for it, but as long as DH is doing what’s best for your family? You need to chill. [/quote]

+1 You're really piling on. Your kids have separate relationships with their grandparents and relatives. I can understand being hurt by one not showing the level of interest, but your micromanaging it (MIL can't live near your DC) is so over the top. Some grandparents like different ages and the kids will figure out who they like and don't like without any help from me (which also means they won't get mad at me for micromanaging their relationships).

Try to have an ounce of empathy. Think about how you'd like to be treated in a similar situation. [/quote]

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