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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The newborn and toddler years are really hard. And we live in a society with few family support policies[b] (daycare costs a lot, housing costs a lot, maternity leave is typically unpaid). [/b]

These are some reasons the birth rate is falling.

For me, parenthood has been wonderful and so worth it for the love and fulfillment. There have been a lot of hard days. But the joy and beauty outweigh them. [/quote]

Perhaps it could be because wages are higher here and housing costs lower (and homes generally larger), but [b]birth rates are falling across all western countries.[/b] Generous paid leave is inversely correlated with the birth rate.

My unpopular opinion is that government leave makes it worse. In most European countries, the paid leave is at a low wage (similar to unemployment here) and women are expected to take it. This means every woman who has a kid is expected to stay home for a long period of time to earn low wages from the government. Women still have to work, especially since wages are generally lower, but they are second class citizens at work since it’s assumed they are away for years having children.

Do I want to have another kid and instead of working earn $300 a week?  No thanks.

[/quote]

It's not just western countries. It's all developed/industrialized countries (except Israel).

I like the Nordic model for parental leave, which offers equal bonding time for fathers, but fathers have to take the leave separately from the mothers. It encourages dads to be primary caregivers early in their child's life. And it seems to be working based on research on time spent parenting by gender.[/quote]

I also like this model. It's what we planned to do when we had a kid and then my DH's company balked at my DH taking his parental leave later (they insisted he take it right after the baby was born instead of for months 3-6 as we originally planned), so we just did our leave together. It's still good we got leave but it actually doesn't make great sense. Caring for an infant is not actually *that* hard, the point of leave is for parents to bond with the baby, for moms to recover from childbirth, and to develop the skill set you need to care for the baby moving forward. With two of us, this left a lot of downtime and while it was nice to read and sleep and relax too, I actually think we both would have liked just being home alone with the baby for a few months instead of sharing our leave. [/quote]

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