Reply to Bad marriages

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Bad marriages "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You never know what’s truly going on in a family. When I decided to leave DH last year, all of our friends were surprised because I always “looked so happy” and they thought we are happy together.

On the other hand, people might vent to their friends making an impression of an unhappy couple but then they go home and feel quite good in general. [/quote]

So you don't have any actual friends? Because I talk to mine about things we're going through. When I got divorced none of them were shocked. [/quote]
I have a lot of actual friends. But what’s the point of complaining to them about a decision I made 20 years ago (to marry a man that I didn’t love)? I didn’t advertise it to the world that I didn’t love him and was unhappy because of that.

For example, he isn’t my type physically, and for more than 20 years, every time when I looked at him I thought how much I don’t like what his face looks like. It’s not something I’d share, and if your friend told you something like that, you’d think that they are insane. [/quote]

This is the weirdest take on friendship I have ever heard. What's the point about talking to your friends about your life and your struggles? If you can't answer that, I truly can't help you. And you don't have very good friends or at least not deep friendships.

And if you married someone whose face you hate, I also don't know how to help you...[/quote]
What’s the point of telling my friends that I don’t like DH’s face and name? They also wouldn’t know how to help me. It was my choice to marry him, and I owned it. When I became ready to pursue happiness, I made another choice by leaving him and finding a man who is my type physically, and now I can’t take my eyes and hands off him. [/quote]

Look, you and your weird situation of marrying someone whose face and name you hate it isn't relevant to anyone else because no one does that. So yeah, you should keep quiet I guess. The rest of us generally marry people we don't despise, and then through the decades we have ups and downs, and we share those with our friends. Your story has literally no bearing on anyone else's because it's bizarre.[/quote]
I’ve never said that I hate anything. Don’t like and hate are quite different terms, in my view. As I said, this is not something I’ve ever shared with anyone, and I think that a lot of people have thoughts/feelings that they don’t share with anyone (in the US, maybe they share with their therapist only). Therefore you have no idea how many people could be in my situation. [/quote]

That's not the point at all.  Faking your way into a marriage with s person you don't love and aren't attracted to, for other reasons you don't share, is essentially a tremendous fraud you committed on your spouse.  It's completely selfish and unfair.  Your focus on your feelings, your unhappiness, is not relevant other than as a possible explanation of how you justified this marital charade: entitlement, self centeredness, and disregard for the welfare and feelings of the person you tricked into marrying you.it is completely unethical.  Work on your honesty and integrity no one gives a rats ass about where you are happy or not except you [/quote]

But at least now she has a boyfriend that she loves!  :roll:  :roll:  :roll:

Never mind the fact that she brought children into this world with a man whose face she doesn't like. WTF.[/quote]
So what? Our children are kind and very smart, one of them is already happily married. I obviously haven’t told them that their father is not my type physically.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics