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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was just discussing this with my uncle.  He and aunt are planning to retire and downsize soon (early 60’s).  Their 3 kids all live in different states and the only one who might someday have kids is too transient to move to, so they are not sure where to go.  I told him what I wish my mom would do:
1) Move now while they are still healthy and active so they have good years to build a new community by going to church, joining clubs, volunteering, etc.  
2) pick an area that isn’t too expensive but does have decent hospitals/medical system and a good sized airport
3) Any area like that likely also has enough people to support things like uber, instacart, taskrabbit, etc.
3) Find a home that they can age in place with a bedroom on the ground floor w/ accessible bathroom and either condo or not too big of a lot.  If they want room to host a house might make sense but smaller is better!

Instead my widowed mom is in a huge house on a huge lot high in snowy mountains 45 minutes from the nearest city in good weather. There are no direct flights from pretty much anywhere. She has lived there 4 years but insists that if she has a fall or illness her church friends will be her care team.  I am sure they will all drop everything for the months or years recovery from a major setback can take at her age. [/quote]

You gave good advice. My mom is like yours. The friends will fade away if these are her expectations. My mother had that entitled view. Nobody wants to be taken advantage of like that. Friends and neighbors would politely tell my mom they are there for her after dad died, but once she started asking for too many favors and stopped expressing much gratitude they all started avoiding her. After caregiving for spouses, elderly parents, etc nobody wants to be a caregiver for a random friend beyond the visit with a dinner they can put in the fridge or a check in here and there. [/quote]

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