Reply to If you live close to the in-laws, what does your mother's day look like?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Friday - My house gets deep cleaned by my cleaner.

Saturday - DH looks after the kids.  The lawnmower guy mows and spruces up the yard. I go with MIL for pedicure, massage and a panera lunch/costco lunch (hey yes MIL and I are both cheap).  Selfies. Kiss, kiss, hug, hug. Then I come home and sleep. Dinner is Chinese takeout. Order enough dishes so that Sunday dinner is also covered.

Sunday - Kids snuggle with me. Give me a card and a cup of tea in bed.  Kiss, kiss, hug, hug...photo.  DH and kids take out MIL and FIL for brunch. Cards (I sign too), photos. Kiss, kiss, hug, hug. I continue to bed-rot. Take a bath. Eat Costco salad.  DH comes back... we all watch TV, eat Chinese leftovers.

If my parents are around...I follow the same script.  Except my mom and dad get added to the celebrations and I may then decide to attend the sunday brunch. No separate celebrations with both sets of parents etc.

Over 3 days...my MD gifts are -
- a clean house, spruced up lawn
- bed-rotting and warm bath
- Chinese takeout for two nights
- Bed tea
- Massage, pedicure and lunch with the moms. 
- Photos shared on our group chat
- Having my DH keep my kids out of my hair for two days. 
- Giving a break to my MIL (and my mom), spending some time with her/them doing something that I like (massage/pedicure), having no woman in the family cook or take care of the kids.  
- Not getting flowers so that I don't have to take care of it. 
- Do not want any other gifts.

[/quote]

There is a lot of genius here. Well done and Happy Mother's Day![/quote]

Thank you. And a Happy Mother's Day to you too.

I think all of us in our family are a bit low energy and a bit conflict averse.  I find that this works for me and DH.  For valentine's day,  birthdays, mother's day, father's day, anniversaries and any other holiday you can think of ...both of us want ease and  peace of mind.

And I do like to include my ILs, parents, siblings, extended family, guests, friends etc. More the merrier. Normally, I reserve tables for larger groups at least 2 months in advance. This is because sometimes we use these kinds of occasions to also fulfills some part of our hospitality, familial and social obligations in one shot.  Also, DH is very social so he enjoys it (at least this is what I tell my ILs and parents) and when more people are around then the focus is on ordering, eating and only very superficial and polite level of conversations  can happen.   This is exactly the type of socialization I aim for because often you hear that such family occasions can become 'tension filled' and someone or the other will feel slighted.

You have to keep the older generation a bit off-kilter and behaving well especially when you are blending both sides of the family (usually characterized as fire and gasolene) and this can be achieved by having other people and general hustle bustle at the table.

Eating out also is a good way to spend a very short time with each other (90 minutes - 2 hours tops?).  And then this communal/family eating also becomes the - gift, celebration, memory making, family time, engaging with people, inclusivity, teaching social skills to my kids, keeping our elders engaged and happy, reciprocity, photo op etc...   There is zero chances of hurt feelings for anyone.  Because people are processing all that sensory input + all the desserts and celebratory toasts.

- Beloved DIL of my ILs. 
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