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Reply to "Tween Daughter is driving us nuts about spending"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My wife and I are at our wits end. Our tween daughter has some unreasonable views and we are at a loss. Our daughter is being heavily influenced by peer pressure at school and is now convinced that we're ruining her life by being cheap. She doesn't like any of her clothes and keeps on insisting that she needs new stuff. The latest thing is her backpack. Apparently its not the right brand. We said ok, we can get a new backpack for fall. Nope not good enough, she wants a new backpack now and then if another one is "on trend" in the fall then she'd get a new one then. Of course we said no. She then exploded about how she's tired of us being broke all the time and how we're so cheap. She's now refusing to wear anything from Target and is mad that we bought Lululemon clothing on sale. Even though she's the one that picked out the Lululemon stuff! We're not broke, but we dont frivolously spend either. I think she's being influenced by her friend group at her school. If my daughter is to be believed these girls get new clothes every week and don't have to do chores or anything to earn spending money. I need practical tips to get through to her. Please help. [/quote] What friends do doesn't matter. However, I think it's reasonable to sit down and explain your budget. I would start with stating that we buy x number of each piece, and that the total budget is around y. I would then split it up by 20: 10 months at y/20, fall spend 7y/20, spring spend 3y/20. For a budget of $1000 yearly, that's $50 for Sep-Mar and May-July, $350 August and $150 April (adjust months, ratio, and budget as needed). Anything that goes beyond budget comes out of her pocket, all clothes from budget must meet the dress code (unless swim wear or similar, not intended for school), and I don't want to hear about not having enough for the number of pieces needed. I have zero issue with a kid asking for something specific as a birthday or Christmas gift. I just paid $150 for a single pair of jeans from Buckle for 18th birthday, but she also knew that she wouldn't get much else. Christmas (16) the request was lucky brand loungewear... since Sam's Club had them for $10/pant, I gave her 10, maybe 12? Since she was wearing them everywhere, it worked. I agree with the PP who recommended thrifting. I also had a lot of success by showing my teen that one piece with an obvious brand (jeans, hoodie, puffer) could be the anchor for several outfits while the other pieces could be thrifted, clearance, sale, or a lesser brand (horrors! Even walmart plain color tanks work).[/quote]
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