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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They just fake it until they no longer can— which is typically when they can’t grow and step up to be home owners, life partners, raising a child. That’s too much for them. For others keeping a job is too much for them. And for even others, the demand to graduate college or high school are too much. [/quote]

Many adults with ASD who would today qualify for a diagnosis and get help went undiagnosed and grew up into people who do not have the tools to help themselves or be there for those who depend on them and lack the self awareness to know this about themselves. When we married, my husband was this sweet loyal man who could be sometimes inflexible and awkward but no major red flags. Its only after having kids and a SN diagnosis for one child that brought on a lot of hardship that things really started falling apart and all his worst traits came out, he just cannot cope and either retreats or lashes out.

Thing is, not all men with ASD are poor fathers or partners. But there are a lot of ASD traits that make even the regular demands of parenting challenging and hard.

This isnt an ASD specific thing even. Plenty of women fall into this trap - marry and have children with men NT or ND who start off as good partners and on board and eager to have kids. But once the kids happen and responsibilities pile on, they flake and shrug off the work to their wives who are left holding the bag. There's plenty of Married Single Moms who did not think it would have happened to them.

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