Reply to 3rd grade daughter dropped by former bestie

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I am still kind of stuck on the idea that you think there are "popular" kids in third grade. That is not consistent with what I see in my kids' school. I know you said it is small, but still!! Pretty much all the girls in my DD's class are friends in some capacity. Pretty much all the boys, same. [/quote]

I think OP said "cool" not popular, which I actually find more concerning. Popularity can be an objective measure -- some kids are more well known or more well liked than others. You can observe that without making a value judgment. Most parents want their kids to be liked, I think we shouldn't pressure kids to be more well known or have a million friends because some kids are introverts. But you can be a well liked introvert, which usually means you have good social skills, and that's a positive.

Coolness is totally subjective and is honestly a toxic concept that parents shouldn't reinforce. Kids will care about coolness but parents should not. Just let it go. Often the kids who are "cool" are viewed that way because they have qualities or belongings that you actively do NOT want your kid to have. They might use adult language, have phones or access to social media, etc. And they are cool because they are perceived as being more mature, but often they aren't more mature and are actually just play-acting in ways that can go wrong quite easily. Cool kids often have kind of neglectful parents or parents who are more invested in their kids being cool or seeming grown up than in parenting them. No thank you. My kid is super uncool and I'm so glad.[/quote]

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