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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You and your SIL have different parenting approaches.  I agree with yours vs. hers.  But many people are ok with hers.  I would just tell her that you are not ok with her physically disciplining your daughter, and that if your daughter is not listening to her, she should call you to come back to address.  [/quote]

So kid won’t get out of pool and SIL should call OP to come over?  Letting the kid stay in the pool while all that happens and rewarding the behavior?

No.  People who hit kids don’t have real parenting strategies outside violence so OP’s kid can’t be alone with SIL again.  You don’t have to announce it or anything dramatic - just make it so.  [/quote]

Just out if curiosity, what is the correct parenting strategy to implement when one’s niece refuses to get out of the pool?[/quote]

My nephew pulled this shit on me at the beach one time. I quietly decided to never watch him again without a parent present. I don't think there is a discipline strategy per se. I don't hit my kids, and I would NEVER hit a child that isn't mine.[/quote]

But that doesn’t answer the immediate question of how do you get them out of the pool?

You’re talking about (perfectly reasonable) consequences at the conclusion of the incident. This is a problem with almost all parenting advice- it’s a list of what not to do, or what to do after the fact. Rarely are there reasonable strategies for DURING a problem…[/quote]
You can probably find this advice in thousands of places. You express understanding to the six year old, "I see you are upset. It is hard to stop doing something when you are having fun." You offer comfort and redirect. Hopefully you have let them know "Ok, ten more minutes, five more minutes, one more minutes." This advice is not hard to come by.[/quote]

This is exactly what I see weak, ineffective parents doing constantly. There’s no actual discipline, just a self-absorbed inventory of feelings that accomplishes nothing. And I say this as someone who has never hit my kids and never would.

If the kid won’t get out of the pool, you need to physically remove them from the pool. If that means picking them up and carrying them out while they scream, so be it.[/quote]

OP is talking about a nonparent disciplining. Sure, if it is your kid you can do almost anything you want. Manhandling a 6 year old child that isn't yours is a totally different ballgame. It could get yourself and the child injured if they are fighting (if you are even strong enough to drag a 6 year old out of the pool). I wouldn't manhandle someone else's kid like that.[/quote]

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