Reply to My ADHD husband lets me down in every single possible logistical situation. Anyone else in a similar boat?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "My ADHD husband lets me down in every single possible logistical situation. Anyone else in a similar boat?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t understand why you’re giving him tasks he obviously can’t handle. Outsource as much of these as possible. What can he do? Give him those tasks. [/quote]
If he’s the SAHP, OP should not have to do all of the mental labor. Absolutely not.

I have ADHD and I know severity and presentation varies, but he needs to find his motivation. Is it consequences? Can you throw medication, coaching, choice architecture at things for him? Most people learn themselves pretty well by mid-life and can figure out their own scaffolding, even if it means they will still only function at 75%.

I know you’re probably at the end of your rope, but shame is your worst enemy here. ADHDers cannot function in a fog of shame of their shortcomings. [/quote]

I like that last sentence, PP. My wife divorced me because of my ADHD even though I was doing the majority of scheduling, activities, bills, social events, and chores. She just got hung up on the random ADHD misses and basically grew to hate anything about ADHD. I ended up with custody because the kids also have ADHD and she just couldn't accept it enough to help them develop tools to succeed. [/quote]
That breaks my heart for you, PP. The stigma surrounding ADHD is so harmful. And of course the kids inherit it and the cycle of shame and judgment continues. We need to run off and live in a beautifully chaotic colony full of crazy ass side projects. Society couldn’t function without us, yet we are continually told that we’re not worthy unless we are good at boring administrative tasks. I’m glad your kids have you.[/quote]

Exactly!

Let’s all let Darwin take over and see what survives. [/quote]

Nature wouldn't keep ADHD around in such numbers if it wasn't necessary for survival. The way all the irate divorced women talk about their "ADHD" husbands you would think those genes would have failed back in the hunter-gatherer days. [/quote]
It didn’t. They use to trip on the train tracks or absentmindedly venture into the bear cave or forget to plant their crops on time and die out.

Now they just play on screens and have their mom or wifey accommodate them. If they manage to keep a hyper interest job long enough, they can pawn off their real work to underlying and secretaries.

Life is not very “dangerous” nowadays where one’s situational awareness and realtime thinking is required. Just driving does, and we all know how well they drie, speed, or pay attn there! [/quote]

I am sorry that you don’t feel you are appreciated enough.  I hope you get to order yourself some nice flowers on secretaries day!

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics