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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We recently moved (“forced” according to her) into AL [b](“beautiful prison”).[/b]  It’s a fantastic place and yes my husband and I would move there. She has a lovely apartment, exercise class 3 days/week, bridge 3 days/week, daily happy hour (2 drink max), all meals (good but def not great food), on site nurse 8 am-10 pm, on site OT and PT, lectures by community college profs, etc etc. 
She’s now been there 2 months, has made friends, but still thinks of it as prison. So be it. She is safe and well cared for. [/quote]

These places are a form of a prison. People have to live by the rules, they are managed by the staff, have to deal with an assortment of people that they don't necessarily like, on a daily basis. In the facility near my mom, which is very expensive and highly regarded, they have to eat dinner communally. If they want to eat in their rooms they have to pay extra. I get this forces people to have human interaction, which can be good. But research shows that while the elderly (and all of us) need interaction, negative interaction does nothing to help and can make things worse.

What I have come to understand at a deep level is that end of life is rarely easy on the elderly or the people who care for them.[/quote]

it's brain exercise having to navigate these social situations. My relatives who refused to move mostly rotted on the sofa and declined rapidly cognitively because they didn't try to use social skills with their kids and hired help. Most of their friends drifted away. Their homes eventually needed special locks if they were wanderers. Aging at home was more of a solitary confinement prison. I would not describe the ALs I visited as prison and in the case of Memory care, the locks were for safety. I have not heard of prisons with beautiful gardens and various social activities. Do you consider college a prison too?[/quote]

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