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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh my goodness OP I thought I had written this. I get you 100 percent- my husband is also a lawyer and does the same thing about going to meetings all day and then working late. It sounds absolutely miserable to me and he hates it too and has pushed back and is traveling less now he’s slightly more established. I don’t have a ton of answers because I basically pressure my husband 24/7 to try and find a different job. Different firm or go in house or something! He’s miserable a lot of the time and asks a lot of the rest of us. The money is not even as much as you might think and is not worth it. I basically just want to validate that if he’s making these choices and you do not agree the trade offs are worth it you are entitled to that opinion. Many people would rather have a spouse who is a real partner than more money. [/quote]

OP here - you make me feel seen.  We have been at this a long time (DH is a young/new partner) and he wants to try and see if he will "make it" before he taps out. He makes good money (between $575-$775K depending on his bonuses) but it sure is A LOT of work for that money. There is no downtime or rest. Is it worth it? I don't know.  He/we don't really have generational money to fall back on. We have 3 young kids and want to try and provide them with a cushion in life.  [/quote]

OMG poor little baby has to feed her kids dinner and do the laundry and walk the dog while her husband is off earning half a million a year.

What a tragic life.[/quote]

I’m the PP who is also married to a law firm partner. It’s not tragic but it’s absolutely not the life I would have chosen if I knew what was coming when we got married, and it’s a life I think is bad for my husband even more than for myself. It is not at all uncommon for him to end up working 12-16 hours over a weekend, often with little notice, so he never wants to make plans in case we end up having to cancel them. We spend very little time together and a lot of it is him talking about how miserable he is. It is frustrating when someone makes this type of life choices and then, when very unsurprisingly it results in them being tired and run down, you are expected to fix that regardless of what you have going on.

I think all the time about how I would feel if he was a brain surgeon or some other type of doctor who was actively saving lives by working this hard and I feel like that would at least be better because maybe he would be more fulfilled and we would both feel like it’s more worth it? But he’s not, just making a lot of money for people who already have a lot of money. We try to save a lot and maybe we can retire early and help our kids so there will be some value there but it’s not a given at this point.[/quote]

Sorry, but he can quit and find another job. I'm a lawyer and I did the kind of work he does with the hours and the pay and I decided that it wasn't good for me or my family. I'm a woman, not that it matters. But I quit and found another job with a much better schedule and yes, less pay. I get that the government isn't a great employer right now and many firms aren't expanding, but he had time to quit and do something else. Enjoy the money or be willing to give it up. It's really not that complicated. [/quote]

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