Reply to Agreed to a move for DH’s promotion with one condition. Now that condition is gone.

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Agreed to a move for DH’s promotion with one condition. Now that condition is gone."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Kids are big so independent but they won't see their dad on weekdays. No going to a game, playing catch, bike ride after school. No taking them to an activity where they actually open up in the car. I wouldn't want this. [/quote]

This would be my main concern, and my DH would be looking for a new job. Yes, it will be annoying to be doing the homework/dinner/bedtime thing solo, but your kids should absolutely be doing much of this themselves. But they will never see their dad! And it’s not just the mundane house chores, teenagers come with their own challenges, like learning executive function skills, learning how to drive, college applications, getting a part time job in the summers etc. He won’t be around for any of the important conversations. When he goes to bed at 1am, he won’t be able to wake up every day at 6 to see the kids in the morning either, especially if he is a doctor, he can’t go into his shift exhausted. It sounds like he will leave for work before they get home from school, so he will basically not see them during the week.

There are a lot of doctors in my family, but I don’t know any who work the late shift like this every single workday. It’s a rotation. The move into city limits doesn’t really make sense with this either. I’d have him look for other jobs if he wants to spend any meaningful time with his kids before they leave for college.

[/quote]

Move to the city limits is probably because he needs to be close to the hospital (if he is a trauma surgeon for example.) [/quote]

I think the law enforcement guess may be more on track. Usually the only jobs that have a requirement to live within a certain boundary are local government. [/quote]

My neighbor is a trauma surgeon. He was required to live within 15 minutes from the hospital.

Those who suggest for the spouse to look for another job do not understand the realities of medical field. If you are highly specialized in one area, you are very limited in career. Even bigger cities like DC might only have 5 trauma surgeons. They are very high earners and very expensive for the hospitals to retain. Plus take into account years of training. If this wife has such a spouse, are you saying the husband doctor needs to change his job because she needs help with bedtime with middle and high schooler? To cook lunch and dinners?

Those who say that doctors had worse schedules in the past - my hubby is an ER doctor. You can have 20-25 patients during a 12 hour shift. That isn't normal. [/quote]

To be clear, OP never said this guy was a doctor.  People just ran with that assumption.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics