Reply to What to Do with an Unsafe Dad?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - thank you all for the responses.

These events I mentioned have happened more recently as I have been spending more time at home or with the baby.

As some mentioned some of these things can easily happen to anyone. Kids are unpredictable and life with kids is hectic. But my overall concern is that they happen more frequently with him because he can be relaxed about safety and a bit “checked out.”

To those who have asked - yes he went to the museum alone with the kids and left them to answer a call without telling them or anyone. He also went downstairs to make dinner while our toddler was having a tantrum in the bath because “he thought he would calm down.” The water was up to his chest while he was sitting. My toddler was thrashing around and throwing things. I actually came out already worried for safety even with the expectation that his dad was with him. He also had the baby at 2 months in a large duvet because he did not want to get the baby’s blanket and bent over to do something when the baby slipped out and fell.

I appreciate the honesty and tips. I agree that I will mostly be with the kids. And see if he agrees to parenting and safety classes.[/quote]

All of that is really bad and maybe what's the worst is that - it sounds like - he didn't change after he literally dropped a baby? I mean we've all made mistakes, but we learn from them. And accidents happen of course, but most parents take precautions afterwards. I once tripped and fell while carrying my 2 year old on my shoulders. Thankfully she wasn't hurt but I never carried her that way again. DH used to carry our first baby down the stairs in his car seat carrier, not strapped in, even when I asked him not to, until the day he slipped at the bottom of the steps and the baby would have fallen out if they'd been farther up. So he learned from that and stopped doing it.

If your husband isn't learning from all this, that is really pretty shocking.

Additionally, DH and I made a pact that if we did something the other felt incredibly strongly about, even if we didn't agree it was dangerous, we'd stop if asked. So DH was way more relaxed than I was about food size/possible choking, but because I asked him to make the pieces much smaller for my own peace of mind, he did. Can you try that with your husband or is he really so checked out that none of this registers? If so, he is either the most relaxed man in the world, the most absent-minded, or truly has some medical issue.[/quote]

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