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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "What do cheaters tell themselves?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^True. Frigid wives aren't open about theirs, either.[/quote] That doesn't make sense. Especially in this day and age where people generally have sex before marriage, a man is going to know whether a woman is "frigid" before marriage. Is she into sex? Does she like doing it frequently? He will know. It's not the 1800s where you might not find out your partner's approach towards sex unit the wedding night. If for whatever reason you decided not to vet your spouse's sexual preferences before marriages and they refused to have sex with you after, then you could get the marriage annulled. Now, sometimes attitudes towards sex change. Many women lose interest in sex as they age, hit menopause, or due to the stress of kids. If it changes, the people in the marriage have to reassess. And they can and should do so openly. If her new attitude towards sex is absolutely unacceptable to him, they can discuss an open marriage or divorce. There's no secrets there -- if sex dries up, they both know it, they can address it openly between them. Whereas a cheater has taken a vow of monogamy, [b]has not expressed to their partner that their opinion on that vow has changed,[/b] and keeps their change a secret. It's a totally different issue. [b]A spouse who is cheated on is not being given an option to decide if the new terms of their marriage are acceptable.[/b] They aren't being given the option to choose an open relationship or divorce.[/quote]Bullshit. Do you really think a spouse hasn't discussed this topic at great length, sometimes for years before making the leap to cheating? Not given the option to decide? WTF are you talking about? My wife always had the option to decide and she decided our sex life was over, take it or leave it. She could decide tomorrow to change her mind and I'd stop seeing other women in a minute, but that's not happening bar some miracle. Or maybe she will get struck by lightening and it will re-wire her brain. Any spouse, man or woman who makes the decision to stop having sex knows damn well it's a problem. They are adults and should never be surprised at the consequences of that unilateral decision. If they just "aren't feeling it" then they still know that's a problem that will only get worse. They can ignore the problem or discuss it like an adult and look for solutions. If not, they have already decided and it's their spouse who, " has not being given an option to decide if the new terms of their marriage are acceptable." I decided the new terms were not acceptable and took action. [/quote]
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