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Reply to "Step kid returns to nest - mixed feelings"
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[quote=Anonymous]Make it his/his dad’s problem. This will require you being comfortable, or at least acting like you are comfortable with their displeasure or anger. First, think about the expectations that are important to you and set them. Whatever works best for you in terms of management is fine. It sounds like he’s included in your grocery shopping, for example. So it’s on him to add things to the list before you shop or send your order in. Tell him that time. Don’t make additional trips or orders. If he doesn’t do laundry, he doesn’t have clean clothes. If he leaves clothes in the washing machine or dryer such that they’re in your way, put them in a basket and leave them for him to deal with it. Not knowing the routines of your house it’s hard to be specific but, generally, try to set things up so that if he doesn’t follow through, it’s his problem. The car seems to be the biggest issue to solve. Because you’ve already been through this before, and you know that he’s unlikely to cooperate and his dad won’t step in I would go straight to the nuclear option. A condition of his moving in is that you have a set of keys to his car “because of past issues with parking.” The FIRST time he blocks you in, you gather all the keys to your car, and you take stepson’s car, and you go somewhere and stay out for several hours. Now it’s his problem and your husband’s problem. They can figure out ubers or his dad drives him or whatever. It’s their problem. Keep doing it every time, no matter how mad or annoyed or whatever they are. Respond one time reminding them of the rule and then refuse to engage.[/quote]
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